Everything moving too fast to be documented properly. Neurons slip and slide and tangle, going in circles. I’m somewhere deep inside a system whose name I forgot the moment I saw it. Burning, burning towards nothing, towards darkness. I push myself forward, faster…faster. Nothing ever felt this good. I can’t get myself lost, I’m trying. Deep as I push, black as it gets … I can always find my way home, I will always have them seeking me when I’m gone. This is the rest of my life? This is too fantastic to last. I can’t imagine … life like this … forever.

Two people are lost in the desert. They are dying from hunger and thirst. Finally, they come to a high wall. On the other side they can hear the sound of a waterfall and birds singing. Above, they can see the branches of a lush tree extending over the top of the wall. The fruit upon the branch looks delicious.

One of them manages to climb over the wall and disappears down the other side. The other, instead, returns to the desert to help other lost travelers find their way to the oasis.

Nothing needed doing so we decide to head to Luminaire. Ley and I are chasing eachother in Atrons all the way over from Thiarer. We go the safe route so we can avoid any trouble. Lets you actually pause a moment before stargates and have a look around. Probably something we’ll stop doing eventually, I notice nobody else seems to bother. All warp to zero, jump. Helps when some of these systems already have a history for us but then, don’t they for all these pilots too? Well, some of its business too I’m sure. Time is money.

We get to Luminaire and there is a good landing open near some old harbor-side shops we visited a long time ago. As we get there, Ley is asking me what I’m thinking of buying. I can’t really say. She’s talking clothes and food, but by the time we’ve made it on to the street and started breathing that crisp, clean air she’s talking about apartments. It’s just so beautiful here that I can’t help but chuckle at the thought. I remind her how hungry she was a few hours ago.

We take our food towards a pier and just sit there dangling our legs over the edge like kids eating sandwiches. It’s lovely, nobody seems to mind and they’re all doing their own thing too. An old lady dressed in Hukon robes is doing stretching exercises under the shade of a large Ikmus. A Matari couple are lounging on a patch of grass behind her, half-dozing in the sun. People are walking by us looking like they got something to do but nobody seems real rushed. The air is warm and thick with the sound of the sea beneath us, lashing at wall below our feet.

I’m remembering how afraid we were to come down the first time.

Where there is great doubt, there will be great awakening; small doubt, small awakening, no doubt, no awakening.

But then came the day
I climbed out of these safe limbs

It is four years since the Amarr loyalist organisation Curatores Veritatis Alliance (CVA) first announced 'Operation Deliverance' which is a long term project focused on imposing Amarrian law and order on specific low-sec Amarrian regions and Providence.

Ventured away
Walking tall, head high up and singing

As a result of this move CVA will be stepping up its patrols into the Mandate and will be working closely on developing the same sort of intelligence and anti-pirate networks in this region as now exist in the original Deliverance areas.

I went to the city
Car horns, corners and the gritty

As they have done in low-security Domain and Providence the CVA will focus on fostering links with those law-abiding alliances, corporations and individiuals who already reside in the Derelik region and oppose piracy, terrorism, and chaos.

Now I am the proudest monkey you've ever seen

In response to the Announcement by Royal Heir Kor-Azor the industrial division of PIE Inc. today announces the establishment of market hubs for basic and advanced materials in serveral border areas of the Kor-Azor realm of the holy Amarr Empire.

Monkey see, monkey do

In the future this initiative will expand to other regions of the Amarr empire. For now however in direct response to the edict of the Royal Heir we shall open the operation in Kor-Azor.

Things don't seem to be all that different after all these firsts. They say it’s a magical time, a defining moment of your life.

You are floating inside a nebula.

Please. I just felt nauseous. They had to practically drain me from the pod.

You are here right now, in this time and place.

I don’t like the hype. Seyii doesn’t seem to mind it. Kinda different for her, though. We went different routes and had expectations placed on us accordingly. She didn’t turn her back on half the stuff I did. It’s not like either of us were ever going to turn, but still…

Across a universe that is inconceivably vast, you could draw a series of lines pinpointing this very location; the thick metal sheets that surround you, the capsule within, the atoms inside your beating heart.

Well, Seyii says I should never shut it off. Don’t ever become numb to it. So it’s like I’m spinning around on the spot, turning my back on whatever is convenient to ignore at any given moment. Just the same nausea-inducing shit.

That is you. This is where you are right now. In a moment.

K dropped off a package earlier. Seems she has been busy down south. She understands where we both come from, which really helps. Probably the only good memory I have so far of being in my pod. I’ll never forget that place.

Just a moment.
You can be anywhere.

Earlier...

One of these nights that reminds you this is a business. Lot of money sitting on this guy’s head so we’re getting down all over this shit like hawks. Thing is, I got two deals to make same hour too. Just took the calls so the deed is gonna have to get done if I don’t want Seyii kicking my ass.

Blue Pill at X80 Warehouse, blow this motherfucker’s brains on the Setelli HQ Helipad, then wholesale at Irelle. Entourage is gonna want some drinks before we roll but I got a treat from Cero lined up instead.

“Alright, listen up. We’re goin’ in five. Get your shit together.”

“Hey Boss, howsabouta—“

“Cero says he’s fully stocked. If you can make it to his alive then you can enjoy some of the most pure shit your skull can handle.”

Markhus grins like a fuckin’ idiot and starts huddling the guys. Setelli’s gonna be a clusterfuck now he’s saying.

Make it to the warehouse and the first thing Markhus says is I’m pretty sure these fuckers are some kind of cult. Not that I don’t disagree, but I tell him to shut up all the same. He’s a decent right hand, but fuck he needs to learn to keep the politics and ideology out of it.

Amarrians it looks like. Robes and everything. Fidgety fuckers too. Some scary cyberoptics shit going on under there, whirring away. Not cool. The guys wheel the goods out and the Amarrians just nod and pass the money over straight away, with us standing between them and their stuff. We almost draw our shit on them right there, but they’re just chill, sitting there whirring away like fucking toasters. Huh, well…return business is worth more, so we back off and leave it to them. They just stand there still. Not cool.

Markhus says we shoulda just fuckin’ blown the place apart. I tell him to save that for the next trip.

The guys want to set up a contingency in case we miss the headshot, but this requires busting down some doors a few blocks down. Only way to be sure of a direct hit on the heli. It’s not that we don’t have the explosives I’m telling Markhus, it’s that I’m not sure we want to attract that level of attention when we’re spread apart. He’s nodding and saying good good boss, even as he loads two guys for demo and anti-aircraft. I’m gently removing the fluff from his shoulder as I politely enquire as to whether or not he understands what the fuck I am saying to him, considering his dumb as shit body seems to be disobeying his even dumber than shit brain.

He’s got that superstar look in his eyes and grinning though, so I figure he’s sending ‘em off and claiming the kill pay alone. I just hope the heli pilot doesn’t take off once we’re done; I get the feeling the boys would want some reason to claim payment too. I return the little nod and wish the guys well. Markhus reaches for the rifle the moment they’re gone and starts settling in. Cheeky fucker.

2 minutes until the mark exits the building. Grey suit, pale blue shirt, augs on the right cheek, purple tie.

5 minutes after we put his lights out to get outside of the hot zone. Direct 200 hover along the 89th, then pull up to 5,000 once we’re clear of signatures.

5 minutes after that to get to the Irelle Enclave and land.

3 minutes after that to make it past Fatty the Brutor and his little testicles of friends. Cero hires the most useless security I ever seen.

That’s the calculation. The 1’s and 0’s of it all.

After this fucker is dead, I have exactly 13 minutes before I need to be in Cero’s shitty little office that smells of sweat and sex, pretending that I need his business just so he can get my boys off and sell some of my shit for a ridiculous markup.

12 minutes now.

Hectic days.

I'm starting to think that desperation can inspire love - and that's ok.

Get it any way you can.

When you need something that badly, when you're desperate for it...that has to be special. That has to mean something.

We had surplus Blue Pill and

I am fucking glowing right now.

Ley was pissed at me when I forwarded the mails, she said I must have given the wrong impression. I dunno. Thought it was clear as it coulda been myself. She made me write another mail to Darksun just to make sure things really were.

I think you guys have got me a bit wrong, now I think about what you say. See I aint so much looking to sell anything as I am looking to invest.

Now I dunno if you are as sharp as ya seem to be, but I'm a Thukker girl and if you know Thukker people then you know I aint interested in fuckin' you over. Leave that fer the Krus, right?

I got a letter from ya friend Rendar, and got the lovely note from you. Gonna do a bit of homework for you both and then get back to ya.

Bah, I hate diplomacy. I'd rather ten rounds of tribal initation, at least it'd be faster.

Sat down with Ley and discussed some specifics. Quite a bit of work that would need to be done now we're actually hammering everything out. A single production starbase alone requires a whole lotta fuel. Hope someone's got a friend who flies freighters eh.

Funding looks ok, although we need to figure out the order of stuff. Kinda complex at first, but I think once we figure out everything we need it'll all fall into place. No use buying the starbase just yet, for example. May as well invest in skillbooks and various bits and pieces we're gonna need.

Didn't make it out to Lumi studio. Bummer.

I’m going I’m slippin’ slow away
Hoping to find something better than
I’ve got inside of here.

I heard back today from Darksun, as well as the Rendar Khanid I was told about. Seems she isn’t the big boss, but some kind of diplomat. A little unsettling that one, all polite and stuff. I dunno what to make of that, but I’m not sure I like it. Darksun was a bit more fiery, heh. Reminds me of guys back home a bit, but sorta seems like a loner. Outcast probly.

So he wants something in paper, and she wants to discuss things. Both options are making my skin scrawl, but I gotta pick one I guess. Still better than the mouthful the Intaki gave me. Fucksakes. I woulda thought that all things considered, I was being very considerate and stuff. So much for open minds, eh? Fucking Synth shit flowing through their borders you’d think they start to wise up to the changes comin’.

Hey reckless mind.
Don't throw away your playful beginnings.

Guess I better write somethin’ up. I really suck at this kinda stuff though, not sure what exactly I’m supposed to do. I think I’ll just put everything in play and let ‘em know once that is done.

Now that’s something I can like baby.

This stuff really is quality.

I should make a call back home tomorrow and thank everyone.

Everyone seems to be about a cause, or have some kind of deal. I hang out in this comms channel where about two dozen of them are and whenever it’s not banal small talk its heavyweight philosophy and ideology disputes. I don’t really get it; it’s the strangest gathering of people. Hundreds of thousands of us out there and in this one tiny place they congregate and randomly start arguing with their enemies.

A bit insane.

Having some real trouble fitting in. Nobody seems to trust me Not sure if that’s just how it is for anyone who graduates or if these people have done their research. Would kinda think some of the people I’ve been trying to talk to wouldn’t mind the Thukker history. Shit, the Athas guy I talked to reeked of Thukker. Maybe I should have talked to someone else, I’m not sure he’s going to pass my offer on up the chain. Damn paranoids. The Intaki didn’t seem keen on working with me either. What a shitty week.

I haven’t really met anyone who has impressed me yet. It’s a bit deflating. Everything is so damn serious and I just feel so totally disconnected from anything they say. They might be eggers but damn some of them are closer to cattle. Kind of dying for a real conversation with a real person, not just another fucking cardboard cutout.

So for now just sitting on the goods and worrying about more legitimate things like the next recording I’m doing with Ley. She made the most beautiful piece last night and we want to polish it today. I’m thinking that we should head to the Lirsautton studio because it has the best recording equipment, but she wants to be near the city, so I guess we’re going Lumi or Ours. I don’t really give a fuck just so long as we can finish a track, really. We’ve not made anything together since we got out.